Thursday, April 21, 2011

God is in the details

"God is in the details; God is in the moment.  God is in all that blurs by in a life - even hurts in a life."  Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts (p. 54)

I can certainly attest to the trust of this statement.  It is amazing to me to think about how God filled me in preparation for this detour in my life.  That's what I'm calling it - a detour.  And hopefully a scenic detour at that, with lots of delightful surprises along the way.  Perhaps some slow downs for construction, but I want to focus on the delightful surprises.

So - the preparation, or the filling as I headed into the detour. 

First of all, I had 6 months of the attempted biopsies (3 of which failed).  I certainly got used to going to the hospital and the whole admitting process.  That wasn't foreign anymore.

Secondly, (and I've mentioned this before), the fact that my teaching partner and I had changed our monthly memory work and my students spent days saying the passage about bringing all our cares to God and He would give us peace.  Our year plan had that passage for April and we changed it to March.  God was certainly in that detail.  Big time.

Additionally, (and again I've mentioned this before) Grade 4 was responsible for the chapel on community building.  We had asked for the month of April, but were asked to do the chapel in the beginning of March.  Okay, we could make that work.  God was in that detail, too.  I spent lots of time thinking about what it meant to be in community.  And now, I am experiencing in very real ways what it means to be in community.  Learning to depend on others and accept the love offerings and love expressions.  Again, that is God.

The weekend before receiving the diagnosis, a dear friend was visiting from B.C.  and we had decided (with another friend) to spend the weekend in the mountains, in Canmore.  What a way to go into a tough week - with the filling of times of laughter and "communion" with friends.  Yet again, God was in that detail.  This was not something we had done before when this friend had visited.
Two days after receiving the news I had dinner with 4 dear friends, a dinner we had planned quite some time before, and one we had tried months ahead.  The timing of this dinner was perfect for me.  What a blessed time we had. 

The weekend after the diagnosis was received, I was scheduled to go to Edmonton for a family event (see Out of Sight post).  That meant I would be seeing most of my family and could see and feel their love for me.  God was in that detail, too.

One of my sisters lives in Grande Prairie and wasn't able to be at that event.  She was able, however, to be in Calgary the week after my surgery (attending a work conference), so I was able to see her and feel her love and care.  At the risk of being repetitive, God was also in that detail.

A couple of friends had tried to talk me into joining them on their trip to Mexico for Spring Break.  I just didn't feel it was a good idea this year - for a variety of reasons.  Turns out, God was in that detail, too.

Even the delay in surgery (being bumped for a week even after being outside the operating room and meeting one of the nurses) was a time to see God in the moments.  I had spent the previous week getting everything ready: plans for the teacher taking over my class - at least enough to get started, buying clothes that would be loose and comfortable over an abdominal incision, cleaning my house (well, sort of), buying books and magazines....  That meant that for the extra week, I could just be.  Spend time with friends, relax (sort of), meet with my pastor, process, and pray.  I actually went into the surgery much more at peace than I had been the previous week.  God was in that detail, too (even though it meant that I couldn't attend my grandmother's 95th birthday or my uncle's wedding and my mom had to make a quick trip back to Edmonton for those things). 
"God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors."  Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts  (p. 157)

God prepared my heart and soul for this time.  I see that when I look in the rearview mirror.  And I'm so incredibly grateful.  God's been here in so many ways.  Yes, I have felt sad.  I have cried.  I have felt pain (both physical and emotional).  And I probably will feel that way more times.  But, more importantly, I have felt God.  And WOW, that's amazing!

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