What's important in life

This afternoon I attended a funeral.  It's interesting how celebrating the life of someone else makes me think about my life and how I would like to be remembered.  Once again I was reminded that it's who you are in your relationships and how you treat other people that comes across as the most important and memorable.  Yes, the little quirks and idiosyncrasies of each of us are a part of who we are.  Like the fact that my sister's mother-in-law was a terrible driver and that she loved chocolate.  (That's whose funeral it was today.)  But as those who knew her best spoke, it was her relationships and the ways she showed her love and the way she journeyed through life that shone through.  What truly matters is this - how you treat the people in your life and how you honour God as you deal with the valleys and mountain tops in this life He gives us.  

I was reminded again of the importance of seeing the grace of God in the moments God gives us.

1146) a friend getting engaged, and enjoying her joy!
1147) finally making new cushions to replace ones that were fraying and breaking down
1148) getting my doors painted 
1149) the opportunity to spend time with my brother-in-law and talking about his mother who had died very recently
1150) the peace and contentment I've felt being home this summer - really that should be more than one gift
1151) the smell of freshly mown grass
1152) the smell after rain
1153) cool air in the evenings
1154) free breakfast
1155) Canmore Canada Day parade (obviously these are not in chronological order - see the previous list)
1156) clowns that make me smile
1157) getting rid of old computers (at the e-recycling station)
1158) getting data transferred from my old computer to the new one
1159) listening to the delighted laughs and talk of a family as they enjoy a summer evening and splashing each other with water
1160) the gift of neighbours building and painting a new fence
1161) the gentle and kind way a grandfather talks to his grandsons as they build the fence
1162) the tenacity and patience as a husband and wife rebuild their fence over the course of a week
1163) summer evenings
1164) sharing gift cards with friends
1165) watching a man lovingly care for a wheelchair bound woman
1166) watching these same two "dance" together
1167) the idea of a friend to help me finish my quilt effectively and beautifully
1168) binoculars to help see musicians better
1169) being able to delight a friend with a small, simple gift
1170) the cooling gift of a breeze
1171) a parking spot a block from the folk festival
1172) voices harmonizing beautifully
1173) enjoying one of my quilts at the folk festival - and the feeling of satisfaction of being able to use it
1174) hanging pictures on the wall - finally - a year after repainting the walls
1175) having a bed in Canmore and not having to join long weekend traffic home to Calgary after a long day at the Canmore Folk Festival
1176) chemicals that kill weeds!  (truly a daughter of my father)
1177) Anne of Green Gables in Rosebud with Weening women
1178) My Name is Asher Lev in Rosebud with Sharon and the Montagues
1179) The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and the laughter of enjoyment
1180) finally sitting down to write down gifts - and having the opportunity to revisit the last couple of months
1181) sugar snap peas fresh from the garden
1182) walk with SP at Big Hill Springs
1183) water streaming over rocks
1184) yellow canola fields and blue Alberta skies

Summertime....and the livin' is easy

I have been having a simply delightful summer.  Simply delightful.  I've managed to do many of my faithful standby activities.  One of these is the Canmore Folk Festival, which was this past weekend.  I really had no intentions of buying any new CDs.  But as so often happens, I found a new group of singers that speaks to me.  As I drove north yesterday, I enjoyed listening to their music and found a new favourite line of music.  This is from the song "Summertime" by Red Molly.

"Morning rose up singing hallelujah; every evening whispered its amen."

That's been true of my days this last number of weeks.  While I wasn't always thrilled to be awake early, I decided to enjoy slow mornings of tea with the paper, a walk in the fresh morning (before it was too warm), puttering in the garden, and then deciding how to finish my day.  And there's been no trouble doing that.  I've found a great balance of enjoying people, enjoying some of my favourite activities, and accomplishing things.  

I sat in the park in Canmore, pulled out my list of gifts and starting writing about my summer.  It was delightful to revisit my summer and to see how many gifts God has blessed me with.  (Some of these are from the spring)

1058) the smell of spring in the river valley on a walk with my dad
1059) being able to walk with my dad
1060) celebrating birthdays with family
1061) longer hours of daylight
1062) sitting on my front step and reading
1063) a friend helping with garden work (Thanks, S.B.)
1064) that same friend building a new bed for my garden
1065) finishing a quilt for a fund-raiser
1066) Heritage Park quilt festival with a friend
1067) being stopped in my tracks by the beauty of trees in bloom
1068) the smell of rain
1069) the sound of rain, when I'm safely inside my house
1070) the delicate beauty of lily of the valley
1071) the strong smell of lily of the valley
1072) a gift of plants from a friend (Thanks, T.M.)
1073) coming home to a clean home
1074) an evening chat with a dear girl from down the street
1075) celebrating my birthday with friends
1076) celebrating my birthday with family
1077) student saying that today was the first time he was able to understand what an index was and that he was able to use it
1078) surprise gifts of movie and lunch with the Stefeks
1079) finishing a school year
1080) words of thanks from students
1081) words of encouragement and thanks from parents of students
1082) no serious injury despite a serious fall 
1083) fresh summer mornings
1084) pedicures
1085) visits with friends, such as.....
1086) JN
1087) SB
1088) SM
1089) AV
1090) JH
1091) JK
1092) CV
1093) H M-W
1094) visit from a sister
1095) time with family
1096) hugs from children at church
1097) short but meaningful conversations after church
1098) The Saskatoon Farm
1099) turn lanes painted on the road
1100) impromptu times with friends
1101) a friend who is game to join me on mini-adventures
1102) the satisfaction of finishing off quilts
1103) the increased delight of these finished quilts after they've been washed
1104) working on a quilt to surprise a cousin for a wedding gift
1105) delight in the ways fabrics and colours work together
1106) a friend who jumpstarts me to finish a quilt project that had stalled in 2004
1107) finishing that project
1108) feeling a sense of accomplishment as I do "projects" that had been sitting on my unwritten list of things to do for ages - such as
1109) bank account adjustments
1110) RRSP stuff
1111) buying a new car
1112) selling the old car
1113) and the neighbour who really sold the car
1114) cleaning kitchen cupboards
1115) the "clean" feeling of bringing things to Goodwill and hoping they will be of use to someone else
1116) cleaning out the basement - resulting in such a free feeling when I go down there
1117) having places to bring old paint
1118) having places to bring all the empty boxes for recycling
1119) getting rid of horrid orange "curtains" in the basement after living in the house for over 20 years
1120) enjoying time on my from steps on summer afternoons
1121) enjoying impromptu dinners with a friend (Thanks, F.B.)
1122) a rogue raspberry cane that has ripe berries very early in the season
1123) picking raspberries and enjoying them immediately for breakfast
1124) summer morning walks
1125) Shakespeare in the Park
1126) rain God sends to water plans and grass
1127) delighting in the variety of flowers

1128) coming home to my welcoming front step  (The flowers lost a little bit of their punch when I was away for two short periods of time.  They didn't like being left to fend for themselves on a hot long August weekend as they are not so good at finding water for themselves.)

1129) the miracle of plants, growing from seed to plant, to flower, to fruit

1130) books
1131) movies
1132) Summer Olympics
1133) graciousness in defeat
1134) graciousness in victory
1135) satisfaction of doing best
1136) Canmore Folk Festival
1137) enjoying family at the folk festival
1138) enjoying the folk festival with a friend
1139) enjoying music at the folk festival
1140) shade! so the warmth could be appreciated with the Folk Festival
1141) fresh carrots
1142) discovering new musicians
1143) lemonade
1144) sunscreen
1145) refreshing cold water

Time to go.  To be finished later.

It's been awhile...

Yes, it's been awhile since I've been here.  And I offer no excuses.  Nor any reasons.  Simply stating a fact.


Along the way I have found a few more little gems (quotes) that speak to me.  Perhaps they even speak for me.


Even ants take the time to go to a picnic.


Wildflowers don't move to find the sun's rays.  (I suppose that's another version of bloom where you're planted, but somehow I like this one better.)


It's better to limp in the right path than to run with swiftness out of it.


Bumpy roads may be inevitable, but misery is optional.  (Karen Scale Linamen in The Chocolate Diaries)


Every happening, great or small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.  (Malcolm Muggeridge)  I may have quoted this one before as it actually sounds familiar to me.


And here are some of the parables God has spoken to me.  I'm trying to get the message.


1058) the smell of spring on a walk in the river valley with my dad
1059) being able to walk with my dad
1060) celebrating birthdays with family
1061) longer hours of daylight
1062) sitting on my front step reading
1063) a friend helping with garden work
1064) same friend building a new bed for my garden
1065) finishing a quilt for a fund-raiser
1066) Heritage Park quilt festival with a friend
1067) being stopped in my tracks by the beauty of trees in bloom
1068) the smell of rain
1069) the sound of rain - when I'm safely inside my house
1070) the delicate beauty of lily of the valley
1071) the aroma of lily of the valley
1072) a gift of plants from a friend
1073) coming home to a clean house
1074) an evening chat with a dear young girl from next door
1075) celebrating my birthday with friends
1076) celebrating my birthday with family
1077) a student saying that today was the first time he was able to understand what an index was and that he was able to use it
1078) a surprise and gift of a movie and lunch with the S family

Being

I don't remember where I found this quote, but it's been swirling around my head the last couple of weeks.


Life is not about what I want to do, but who I want to be.


And an accompanying one (with an equally foggy memory of discovery) is this.


Every single choice we make, no matter how small, is the ground where who we are meets what is in the world.


A big part of this swirling of ideas is that I need to find the balance between doing and being.  I know I can't just be because some things need to be done of course.  But I don't want what I do to determine who I am.  When I read over what I just wrote, I really don't know what it means, but it's part of what's going on in my head.


Part of who I want to be is one who notices the ways God blessed me.  So the list of gifts continues.


1003) having a garage (especially during spring snowstorms of heavy snow)
1004) having run my errands last night BEFORE the snow came
1005) my grandmother's 96th birthday
1006) a morning with a friend
1007) celebrating a friend's 60th birthday
1008) protection from harm for a dear family travelling
1009) kale chips
1010) witnessing profession of faith of 7 young men and women
1011) seeing a friend who's been under stress looking happy
1012) finishing work that had been weighing down my mind
1013) anticipating my new patio and sidewalk
1014) yummy breakfast bagel at the market
1015) beginning spring clean up in the yard
1016) feeling the warmth of the sun on my back
1017) delighting in seeing the beginnings of grape hyacinth blossoms
1018) the first day of no socks this year!
1019) the light feeling of leaving the house without a jacket
1020) a Sunday afternoon walk with J.W. and I.S.
1021) felling really delight in noticing spring this year
1022) pussy willows - given away at church and now in my living room - looking rusting and elegant at the same time
1023) finding a new flavour of tea and liking it - mojito - mint lime
1024) opening my windows and bringing fresh air inside
1025) 2 walks in one day
1026) positive news on my 1 year check up
1027) children sharing the good news of Easter with the school community
1028) the smell after rain
1029) children expressing concern for a teacher in pain
1030) Saturday morning with a friend
1031) Sunday afternoon walk with a friend
1032) hugs in the hallway at school
1033) spring sunshiny and warmth
1034) spring rains
1035) the wound of water gurgling over stones
1036) a quick glimpse of blue flitting about - a blue butterfly
1037) caterpillar on the pathway
1038) a meal prepared - and ready for the week
1039) going to an open house where I knew next to nobody and making conversation with strangers
1040) stepping out the door on a sunny morning after a week of rain
1041) grape hyacinths
1042) a new rain jacket - one that almost makes me want to walk in the rain
1043) laughing deeply with a dear colleague
1044) a gift of time to do reading assessments
1045) the way two students described me - she looks old on the outside, but is young on the inside
1046) orange tulips opening up in my living room
1047) a visit with a colleague and receiving sage advice from her
1048) feeling peace about a decision
1049) seeing a colleague who is currently off work
1050) being asked to pray for a family under stress - being trusted with that gift
1051) going to bed with clean sheets - sheer delight
1052) clean laundry
1053) the surprise of finding a long list of thanks when I initially thought there wouldn't be much to list
1054) asparagus pizza
1055) celebrating family birthdays
1056) BBQ hamburgers
1057) seeing crocuses while on a walk with a friend

The meaning of still

My words for this year are "Be still and know that I am God."
I've been thinking about those recently.  (Good thing since they are supposed to be my theme for the year.)  I've been thinking about what it means to be still.  To help me, I went looking for a definition of still.  Here's what I found.  And I found it here.

still 1  (stl) adj. still·er, still·est 1. Free of sound. 2. Low in sound; hushed or subdued. 3. Not moving or in motion. 4. Free from disturbance, agitation, or commotion. 5. Free from a noticeable current: a still pond; still waters. 6. Not carbonated; lacking effervescence: a still wine. 7. Of or relating to a single or static photograph as opposed to a movie. n. 1. Silence; quiet: the still of the night. 2. A still photograph, especially one taken from a scene of a movie and used for promotional purposes. 3. A still-life picture. adv. 1. Without movement; motionlessly: stand still. 2. a. At the present time; for the present: We are still waiting. b. Up to or at a specified time; yet: still had not made up her mind. c. At a future time; eventually: may still see the error of his ways. 3. In increasing amount or degree; even: and still further complaints. 4. In addition; besides: had still another helping. 5. All the same; nevertheless. v. stilled, still·ing, stills v.tr. 1. To make still or tranquil. 2. To make quiet; silence. 3. To make motionless. 4. To allay; calm: The parents stilled their child's fears of the dark. There's a whole lot in here.  I think I'll just focus on still as an adjective since I think that's really how it is used in the verse.   Still - free of sound.  I'm not so good at that.  I usually have the radio on (with CBC most of the time) or I have some music on.  I'm not sure whether that's good or bad.  Maybe a bit of both, depending on what's going on in my life.  I know that music can totally fill my soul and heal my heart.  But maybe it also distracts my mind from important things I should be thinking about (whatever those may be). Still - low in sound, hushed or subdued.  That's generally how I am in the world, but I'm not sure that's what's important in the verse. Still - not moving or not in motion.  Hmmm.  That can be a good thing, and it can be a bad thing.  I think it is good for me to know when to stop and when to say no, to make a decision that I can't do everything.  BUT, there is the danger, then, of not saying yes when saying yes would be a good thing.  I think the intent of the verse is not so much about being physically still and not moving, but more of an emotional or spiritual stillness and resting in God.  And that can be more challenging. Still - free from disturbance, agitation, or commotion.  This is important.  But it's difficult.  There will be disturbances, agitations, and commotions in this life on earth.  Of that there is no question.  I suppose the goal is to remain still in God while I traverse through these times.  To know that God is there.  To know that God will always be there.  To trust God.  To feel hope. Still - free from a noticeable current.  The examples are a still pond or still waters.  At first I didn't know how to apply this one.  But after I thought about it a little while, I came to this.     One way I could be free from a noticeable current is to make a conscious effort to disconnect from the computer periodically.  Not that I'm always connected, but more that I'm connected more than I think is good for me.  Sometimes. As I glance over the other usages of still, I see other applications.  But I'll save those for another day.

How many eggs can you hold?

I've been reading more in a life of being, having, and doing enough (by Wayne Muller).  One of the chapters had the title of this post.  How many eggs can you hold?  What a great image to help me think about trying to maintain balance in my life.  I need to think about how I'm handling the eggs I'm currently holding and then decide if I can add another egg.  If I believe I need to add an egg, but I can't keep all my eggs in my hands without dropping one, then I need to think about what egg I can carefully lay down.  While I like scrambled eggs, I don't think having scrambled raw eggs in my hands and on the floor around me is a great idea.  

Enough

I've had a book sitting on my coffee table for about two months now.  I got it from the library and I've already renewed it twice.  Its title called to me.  It speaks to who I want to be.  And, yet, I couldn't find it in myself to stop and be still enough to let my mind be filled with what it has to say.  This week I finally started to work my way through it.  It's by Wayne Muller and it's called a life of being, having, and doing enough.  Tonight when I took the time to focus my mind on it, I found a passage that resonated with me.  


If we indeed choose a life awake, we will embark on a journey not of our own making.  It is a journey that may lead us deep into the country of kindness, loss, beauty, heartbreak, love, honest, and friendship.  In this landscape of the joys and sorrows of a human life, the touch of a tiny hand, the impossible blue of a crisp winter sky, the fragrance of jasmine, can take our breath away.  And every one of these tiny surprises, these unexpected miracles, become, in each moment, without a doubt, enough.   (pages 98 and 99)


I love the idea of really feeling full, feeling enough, when I truly stop and appreciate the tiny miracles. I know that I do feel the love of God more when I actually do that.  While I have reached 1000 on my list of gifts, I know that I need to continue to strive to stop and see the gifts as I live each day.  So I renew my commitment to try to be sure to stop and be still - in order to remember that God is God and that God is good!


967) the "misteriousness" of driving to church through a dreamy, foggy land
968) celebrating communion
969) grilled cheese sandwiches with a steaming bowl of soup
970) the Internet - did you know that you can soften stale marshmallows?
971) peanut butter rice krispie squares - made with those stale marshmallows that were softened
972) sunshine breaking through tray skies
973) listening to children sing at their grandmother's funeral
974) physio and tea with a friend (yes, we did both together)
975) being trusted with information
976) Spring Break!
977) quiet days with a peaceful feeling
978) slower pace which allows me to walk to a nearby appointment
979) finishing 4 sewing projects (bags) that had been in process for a long time
980) a mistake that made one of the bags better - I love it!
981) inviting myself out for dinner, offering to bring dinner, and being offered dinner instead
982) a dear 4 year old telling me she loves me as I walk by her
983) a friend who really understands my frustration with a project - helping me persevere and work through the challenge
984) tea with that same friend
985) the delight on my friend's face when she shows me the gifts she is collection for Korean orphans - she has galvanized an army of knitters!
986) noticing a flock of birds overhead because I heard the flapping of their wings
987) the beauty of fresh snow and blue skies
988) talking about a movie with my 14 year old nephew
989) visiting with my grandma
990) dinner with my brother and his family
991) the joy my youngest niece exudes
992) Saturday morning with one of my sisters and her husband
993) an afternoon walk with two sisters and a brother-in-law
994) Good Friday
995) Easter Sunday
996) family dinner
997) being able to connect with two cousins you are going through tough times
998) safe travels on a busy highway
999) golden landscape with blue sky, sunshine, and a backdrop silhouette of the Rocky Mountains
1000) one year since my surgery - on Easter Sunday.  This was quite meaningful for me - new life for me through surgery and through Jesus' death and resurrection!
1001) a day that opens up - more breathing space on the last day of Spring Break
1002) a friend who is spontaneous and time to go out for tea