Encouraging Words

I am so thankful for the encouragement I have received, words of God through words of people.  And also The Word of God through prayers and messages from others.

                            
Psalm 62: 6 - 8  "He only is the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.  Trust in Him at all times... Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Isaiah 41:10  "So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you:  I will uphold you with My righteous hand."

Exodus 15:26  "I am the Lord, who heals you."

2 Thessalonians 2:16  "May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."

Jeremiah 30:17  "For I will restore health unto thee..." saith the Lord.

Psalm 33:20  "We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield."

Philippians 4: 5 - 7  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."

"Do not worry about anything.  Instead, tell God everything.  Ask and pray.  Give thanks to Him.  Then God's peace will watch over your hears and minds because you belong to Jesus."

Exodus 14:14  "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Joshua 3:4a  “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.”

Isaiah 43: 2 - 3a  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.” 

Psalm 46  "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea......The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress..... Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

                      
Remember - the bigger the mountain is, the better the view from the other side.  (on a picture drawn by a former student)

I ask our God, our Master, Jesus Christ, God of glory, to give you insight in knowing Him personally, your thoughts to be focussed on joy.  So you can see exactly what He is calling you to be, understand the glorious immensity of His love for you, the extravagance of His work in you.  May you trust Him to give you endless energy and boundless strength.  (a prayer written for me and modelled on a passage of God's Word in a staff devotion time earlier this year)

(song written in a card from a friend)
I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hand.

Chorus:
He knows my name.
He knows my every thought.
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call.

I have a Father.
He calls me His own.
He'll never leave me,
No matter where I go.

Peter Kreeft  "Every suffering can be blessed because it hollows out a place in us for God and His comfort, which is infinite joy."  (in a card sent by a friend)

Places to See

I just started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp yesterday.  (Thanks for the Indigo gift cards some of you gave me - used to buy the book rather than waiting for it through the library which I had been doing.)  And the book totally speaks my language.  She is talking about living in wonder and gratitude.  Goals I've had for the last number of years.

"I wonder too....if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.

To see through to God.

That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endless crave." pg. 22

Wow, that quote in the first chapter hit me hard yesterday.  I am living in one of those holes that splatter our sight, one of those tears in the canvas of my life.  And, I have TOTALLY seen God in it.  In ways I never would have expected and have never understood.

                                
So, where have I seen God in the last 4 weeks?  Because that's all it has been since I received the diagnosis of endometrial cancer.  It's a little scary to begin the list because I might leave something off.  Then again, I can always add to the list later.

1) in the hugs and tears of those I love (and those who love me) when I shared the news
2) in the prayers of those same people, and of the members of the school and church community, prayers that have most certainly helped carry me
3) in the eyes and tears of my students when I shared the news and they asked their questions
4) in the prayers of those same children
5) in the words shared with me through cards, phone calls, e-mails
6) in the non-verbal encouragements through eye contact, hugs, and smiles
7) in the encouraging gifts of meals, flowers, quilting magazines, books, movies, visits (and all the offers that haven't been taken up yet)
8) in the time my parents and my sister were able to be here to look after me (what a long time for my parents to put up with sleeping in my cold basement that doesn't have a bathroom!)
9) in the fact that my doctors pursued the referrals and the testing even though they really thought it was all pre-menopausal "stuff"
10) in the quick turnaround between diagnosis and surgery (despite the extra week waiting due to being bumped for emergencies)
11) in that extra week to just be and spend time with family and friends rather than madly getting things ready
12) in the blue jay mentioned in a previous post
                                
13) in the sunshine on my face when I go for my daily walks (all of 2 or 3 houses to the north and 2 or 3 houses to the south)
14) in the provision of an excellent teacher to take over my class while I can't be there and in her openness and willingness to communicate with me
15) in the gift of medication that can ease the pain and not result in nausea - truly a huge gift!
16) in friends who are willing to do laundry and bring out my garbage
17) in the little home maintenance jobs my dad did for me (things I lived with, but are SO nice to have fixed)
18) in the peace that I have felt, rather than fear (most of the time, that is) - which HAS to be God
19) in the daffodils, tulips, grape hyacinths, and bleeding hearts which are trying desperately to demonstrate that spring will eventually come to this land of the very long winter
20) in the gift of sleep - and even of discovering the ability to nap!

That'll do for now.  And, I think it gives evidence of God showing Himself!  What an awesome God.

Joan and Andy's quilt

At Christmas time I also finished a quilt for my sister and brother-in-law for their 25th anniversary. 

Here I go!

There is something about deadlines that helps me get things done.  With my surgery this week (well, in about 3 hours), I managed to get a few things done.  I finished one quilt that had been sitting around for a long time just waiting for the last little bits (the bits that aren't so fun but needed in order to get to the completed stage).  I also managed to get two others ready for just the hand sewing of the binding (ones that had also been sitting in the pile for a long time).  Good feeling.  And then I had the brainwave that now would be a good time to take my machine in for servicing as I won't be using it for the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully after that I can manage to work a little bit as the recovery continues in a couple of weeks.

These are the pictures of the finished quilt.

So, today is the surgery.  At least that's the plan.  That was the plan a week ago too, and I was bumped for emergencies.  I am happy not to be the emergency.  And the week turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise.  It is amazing how God can use not so pleasant things and turn them into experiences where His grace is abundantly evident.  I hope that I will never forget the strong lessons of these last weeks.

At our school each grade level has been responsible for leading a chapel on a particular concept associated with living our lives for Christ.  In March my grade level led the chapel on community building, so I spent a great deal of time thinking and talking about what it means to be community.  And now I have been able to experience just what it means to be a part of community (and this will continue as I recover after the surgery and I learn what it means to ask for and accept help).  I have been incredibly blessed and surrounded by many communities (my family, my students and their families, my colleagues, my church, my neighbours, and beyond).  All of that support and the incredible grace of God has helped me to this point of feeling calm and peaceful about today.  What a gift.

The memory work that my students had for March was also a huge blessing in that regard.  And - here is God at work again - we had originally planned it for April, but changed it to March.  Philippians 4: 5 - 7 - "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I have experienced that peace - and yes, it does transcend all understanding.  Oh, what gratitude I feel for the gift of God's presence, God's faithfulness, and His abiding love.

The Blue Jay

                       
I've had this slip of paper beside my computer for almost a week now.  All it says is blue jay.  But that's enough to lift my spirits.  Let me explain.

Last Wednesday morning my world was shaken.  At one point that afternoon I noticed a blue jay in the lilac bush outside my living room window.  We have experienced a long and cold winter and there seems to be no sign of spring coming.  (Well, the last two days have given hope for spring.)  Lots of snow.  Weather still colder than normal.  And yet, there he (she?) was.  Sitting on the lilac branches.  A blue jay.  Not an especially common bird around here.  Although I have seen one or two periodically the last couple of summers.  The blue jay sat there for awhile.  And I sat there just watching.  And saying thank you to God for this gift - on a day that wasn't the greatest for me.  The blue jay made me smile and lifted my spirits. 

Thank you, God, for the little gifts you send us daily.  The surprises that lift our hearts and turn us back to you.  Keep my eyes open to see those gifts, my ears open to hear those gifts (like the birds singing yesterday), and my heart open to experience those gifts.

Change in an Instant

I've heard people say that their life changed in an instant - and never really thought about it.  Until now.  My life changed in an instant last week.  And I still feel as if it's all surreal.  Is this really happening?  To me?  Yup, it is.  On Thursday I will have surgery to remove cancerous tissue.  Not only has my life changed, but who I am has changed.  I am a very private person.  Usually.  Still have some of that, but most of the barriers and filters have been dropped.  I thought I would just dissolve into a puddle when difficulties arose.  But, so far, thanks to the strength of God and prayers of SO many people, I haven't.  Oh, I've had my moments of panic and melting down.  But usually only moments. 

This afternoon I read through a book where I've been collecting quotes.  And I found quite a number that are resonating strongly in my life right now.

"We come closest to God at our lowest moments.  It's easiest to hear God when you are stripped of arrogance and pride, when you have nothing to rely on except God.  It's pretty painful to get to that part, but when you do, God's there."   Terry Anderson

"God does protect His people, but not by removing them from the battle!  As long as there's one person out there who hasn't been given a choice, who doesn't know about Jesus, the war goes on, and we have to stay here and fight.  Evil affects us.  We get wounded.  We get killed.  But we don't suffer the ultimate effects of evil.  Our spirit is protected - with God's help.  We get cancer.  We die.  But Christians do not despair."   Athol Dickson in Whom Shall I Fear?

"God's love toward me had never changed.  The bad things in my life weren't evidence that He didn't love me anymore.... It was God's love that allowed me to go through suffering."    Harry Kraus in Serenity

"Truly the light is sweet...there is never a sweeter light than that which shines after the darkness.  Let me never forget Your light, no matter how great the darkness."   Dianne Noble in The Last Storyteller

"Maybe when you're frightened, you can hear God better because you're listening harder."   Marya Doria Russell in Children of God

"Show us the way, Lord, even if You don't show us the why."  Robin Lee Hatcher in The Shepherd's Voice

"The trick is to realize that the shit that falls on you is fertilizer."  Ron Mongravite

"Light of my heart, do not let my darkness speak to me."  Augustine

"People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there a light from within."   Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Out of Sight

My brother has a genetic eye disease called choroideremia.  He has worked to live his life to the fullest potential, doing as much as he can and enjoying the gifts God has given him.  He has also been working to raise money for research into curing/treating this eye disease and is in the final stages of the second large fund-raising dinner - Out of Sight.  At this dinner we eat in a dimly lit room, wearing either eye masks or sunglasses to gain some understanding of what it means to be without vision.  Last year I had my eyes opened (pardon the pun) about some of the difficulties of losing vision.  While it was challenging to eat the dinner when blindfolded, that wasn't the toughest part for me.  No, the hardest part was trying to have conversation around the table.  I didn't realize how much I needed my vision to help me focus on the one who was speaking, to understand the flow of the conversation around the table.  I didn't realize how much I needed to see those speaking in order to filter out the noise of the other tables around me.  I managed to keep my blindfold on to eat, but it came off between each course as I couldn't cope with the frustration of the conversation in the dark.  It gave me the slightest understanding of what Mark goes through on a daily basis as his eyesight deteriorates.

So, this year, when he was talking about the second annual Out of Sight dinner and the addition of a silent auction, I offered to give a quilt to him.  He was genuinely touched and that encouraged me even more.  The dinner is a week from today and I managed to get the quilt done on Thursday afternoon so it could get to him in time to organize things.  Phew!  Sometimes deadlines can be great motivators.

Here are some pictures (with the colours not looking as rich as they are in real life).  Hopefully it does more than give him encouragement.  Hopefully somebody likes it enough and gives some money towards the research.

An added joy to this quilt is that I had all of the fabric (except the backing) in my stash and I got to use a pattern that I had bought quite a while ago.